Q: last question,
It’s a personal problem. Sometimes it’s hard for me to sympathize with some people,
I’m afraid this may be a problem,
What can I do to be more compassionate?
Basha: you said you have no compassion for some people. Does that mean you have a special reason?
Because what did they do, or why can’t you empathize with those people?
Or are you just talking in general?
Q: I just think sometimes I can empathize with those people,
Sometimes, I don’t feel it at all.
Basha: is it because of what they said or did?
Or for no reason.
Q: maybe it has something to do with what I think of them.
Basha: Well, what makes you close your empathy?
Do you understand?
You see, you can sympathize with them without agreeing with them.
Q: what did you say?
Basha: you don’t need to agree with others,
Or look at them in some way and still have compassion.
Basha: do you understand?
Q: I seem to understand, but
Basha: OK, can you give us a specific example? What do you suddenly think of them that makes you feel that you can’t sympathize with them anymore,
Can you give me a specific example?
Q: for example, I have some friends who have left me good memories,
Then I had bad memories,
Sometimes I think I can only remember good memories or bad memories,
Can you understand?
Basha: OK, I see,
So what you basically mean is that when you criticize others, your compassion is turned off.
Basha: so you’re criticizing them,
When you criticize them, you don’t make yourself feel connected with them,
You don’t have to agree with them,
You don’t have to be closely connected to the experiences they may contribute to,
To understand that you can be compassionate,
You can sympathetically understand that they are going through a challenge,
Turn off your compassion. Maybe you personalize something,
Instead of looking at them objectively and realizing sympathetically that: Well, they are going through some difficult challenge,
I know their behavior shows this,
Although we don’t agree to support this behavior,
This is not what I like,
I can still sympathize with the challenges they are going through,
Because you’ve experienced challenges in your life,
You will still want people to understand that you are going through these challenges, face them positively, and you will make yourself a better person,
So you give them sympathy, you send them energy, so that they can actively face their challenges, help them know themselves better and help them grow,
You can sympathize with and connect with them, but that level doesn’t mean you have to agree with their beliefs or behavior,
Does this help?
Q: Yes, it’s very helpful. In order to form this habit, I must consciously keep practicing, right?
Basha: Yes, but you have to find out why it doesn’t make sense not to do so.
Basha: then it becomes something you often do,
You always respond like that,
In a sense, you can look at it from the perspective of adults or adults looking after children,
If a child makes a mistake, if a child loses his temper,
You know you won’t refuse this child,
You know children may need some teaching,
You know this kid might need some sympathy,
It may require some very loving communication,
Or just need to be alone and think things through,
But you won’t take your love away from your children,
You won’t cut off contact with your children,
You know, it’s part of the child’s growth process, learning how to maintain balance in life,
Become a stronger and more stable person,
So you can treat your friends like that, even though they are no longer children,
Anyone who enters fear based reality and has fear based behavior is still learning and growing,
So you can treat them like a child who is still studying.
Q: OK, I will,
I want to say try, but I will try to make it my reality.
Basha: it’s up to you,
What I’m talking about is finding out why you wouldn’t do that,
Be aware that when you think about why you’re still not sympathetic to what they’re going through,
That’s your challenge,
You show the same thing as their experience because you are attached to something that kills your empathy and compassion.
Q: OK, thank you.
Basha: they are your mirrors.
Q: OK, I’ll do it.
Basha: OK, it’s up to you.
Q: Thank you. I think that’s it.
Basha: OK, thank you very much!
Q: good day, thank you!